Everything Will Be All Right In The End

The last time I tried writing on my other blog was on my mother's birthday, September 5, of last year.  It was the first birthday since she died and I was getting all philosophical in my writing, then I was getting all factual about her death, and THEN I realized that I was really writing about me, not my mother.  So I stopped.

I find writing either comes so easily that it flows almost effortlessly, or that I'm constantly second-guessing myself and erasing and retyping and re-reading and erasing and rewriting.  It can be such an arduous process.

A few months ago I started reading a Paolo Cohelo book, The Zahir, which is autobiographical-ish in that he talks about being a writer.  He says it's like setting out in a small boat for an island and finding the tides carrying you in a different direction than you anticipated, landing on a different island, exploring it until you're done, then going home.  He also describes the well-tuned ways in which he procrastinates even though he's committed to writing every day.  It all sounded so familiar!

My early life was like that journey in a small boat, taking me for a ride who knows where, but landing me in a good place with my first husband and four beautiful children and travels to places I may have never visited but for landing with David.

My cancer was like that journey in a small boat, taking me on an unpredicted ride, but landing me in a wonderful place full of new and strengthened friendships, love, and self-discovery.

My divorce was like that journey in a small boat, taking me on a whirlwind ride, initially weighing me down and then lifting me away from home, work, and children and landing me in a new state with a beautiful, kind man with whom I'm building a new life, together.  It's not what I would have expected even a few years ago, but it's a great place to be.

And, so, I need to allow my writing to be the same.  Experience tells me that it will all work out.  I just need to keep writing and see where I end up.  It's bound to be a good place.


"Everything will be all right in the end . . . if it's not all right then it's not yet the end."  - Sonny in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel